Are humans truly meant to be together for life? Or are people always going to be tempted by outside desires, no matter the circumstances? We had psychotherapist and relationship specialist Lisa Brateman on the show to talk with us about the state of monogamy, obstacles to commitment in the modern age, and how we can work through issues of loyalty in our own relationships.
Easier to be disloyal?
Lisa doesn’t necessarily think engaging in online communication makes you disloyal, but it does make it “easy to be superficial”. The disloyalty doesn’t happen when you’re initially communicating, but it can happen “down the line”, especially if the thinking is “only about yourself.” But if you’re out of a relationship, or figuring things out about yourself, this type of communication can be productive.
Swipe right for happiness
Lisa deals with many clients who use Tinder, an effortless matchmaking app that links people by their geographic location. In the app, users decide whether or not to match with someone by swiping left or right, oftentimes basing their judgement on a split-second glance at a single photo. Lisa’s thoughts on this are similar to any sort of online communication- good and bad can come out of it, depending on the mutual expectations of the users. While certain people may be looking for meaningful relationships, others may be using Tinder precisely for its “spontaneous and superficial” qualities. And sometimes, this kind of interaction can be “more spontaneous than you might want.”
Click here to see the full interview with Dr. Lisa Brateman.
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